Breslev Tsfat

Some Practical Advice on How to Get Married

Bachur v'bachura zeh b'chezkat shidduch. "Any boy and girl matched up could be a good shidduch." (Said in the name of Reb Avraham Sternhartz, zt"l.)

Start with a "yes." Receive every suggestion with a positive attitude and assume it will work until proven otherwise. In other words, don't automatically say no to any suggested match, assume it could work.

This being said, there are certain guidelines based on the Torah that can help in choosing a mate.

• Look to see if there is a basis for cooperation on shared goals, since this will be the anchor through the choppy waters that inevitably come from time to time with married life.
• It is important to check out the family of the proposed match by considering the overall health, both physical and mental, of family members. The family itself should also be evaluated, especially any siblings, if there are any. This is because the character of the siblings can usually shed much light on the one you are considering for marriage.
• It is worth mentioning an additional point regarding family background. Great differences in family backgrounds should be weighed seriously. Of course, there are countless successful marriages between those from very different cultural and social backgrounds, including couples who do not speak the same language. However, they always face enormous and formidable challenges along the way. It is important to realize that not everyone is up to such challenges over the long term.
• And finally, there is no bigger consideration than middot, i.e., personality characteristics and overall character. It should be obvious that tendencies toward violence or criminal behavior should be avoided.

The stark truth of the matter is, married or not, no one ever went to the grave claiming a trouble-free life. However, regarding the prospect of marriage, it is very beneficial, both now and in the future, to remove from one's mind the illusion of a perfect and tranquil existence to married life, for those who have over-idealized it. And for those who feel they don't need such a challenge in their lives, it is important to unequivocally state that, without marriage, one cannot come close to reaching their highest potential or fulfill their proper role in the world.

Based on a recent conversation with Rav Ephraim Kenig, shlita.

online tzaddik: reb gedaliah on r' avraham sternhartz

In 1979, Reb Gedaliah Aharon Kenig, zt"l, traveled to the United States to publicize the building of Kiryat Breslev in Tsfat, marking a new entrance for many into a previously closed Breslev world in Jerusalem. After speaking about the soul's longing for closeness to HaShem, the interviewer, by way of a translator, asks Reb Gedaliah what drew him to Breslev Chassidut. Reb Gedaliah then describes his teacher, Rav Avraham, and in an unprecedented disclosure, reveals his deeper connection to Rav Avraham.

Can you tell us a little bit about when you first experienced this kind of longing as a young man? Did it come through meeting great teachers?

Like every human being, a lot happens to them in their younger years. There are wars to be fought, there are wars between the body and soul of a person. I have also fought many wars, and when I saw my downfalls, my heart was in pain. I was searching for light in all the Jewish books. This gave me strength until God helped me to find the teachings of Rebbe Nachman, where I found wellsprings of understanding and wisdom which gave me the power to survive and grow.

Could you tell us a little bit about your mentor, Rav Avraham Sternhartz, so we can know what a great Rabbi is like? Perhaps you can describe the way he lived and the way he was.

Rav Avraham Sternhartz was the one who brought me close to the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslev. He was born to Reb Naftali Hertz, the son of Reb Shachne, who in turn was the son of Reb Noson, the closest disciple of Rebbe Nachman. He was immersed in the teachings of Breslev from his birth onward and was constantly watching and observing the customs and behavior of Breslever Chassidim. He had a phenomenal photographic memory, and spoke about things he remembered from the time he was one year old. So you can imagine his level of understanding, being part of the family of Reb Noson, and raised amidst the closest followers, as well as having the Tcheriner Rav as a grandfather. He possessed tremendous diligence in Torah learning, and he was a great servant of God through his prayers and good deeds. When he was young, he never slept for more than four hours a night, and these were not four consecutive hours, but rather snatches here and there. There were times that he didn't sleep at all, or half an hour, or one or two hours. Everyone was astonished by the unbelievable strength and power of his mind. There is one day in the year, on Purim, where Jews have the mitzvah to become intoxicated. On Purim, he was given a very large amount to drink, but as much as he drank, he never became intoxicated. It was from this Jew that I had the merit to learn for 17 years. He put me, as we say, on my feet.

Was there a special moment in which Rav Avraham told Reb Gedaliah that he would have to take over his work? And how did Reb Gedaliah feel at that time?

There was a time when I told him my understanding of a certain teaching in Likutey Moharan, one of the works of Rebbe Nachman. There were some very important Chassidim sitting there, and at that time, he said to everyone that my understanding of Rebbe Nachman's teachings should be the definitive explanation. The last day of his life, a few hours before his passing, there were many people gathered around him. But then everyone left. I arrived about an hour before his passing, and at that time, I was the only one left in the room with him. I was there at the moment his pure soul left his body. Rebbe Nachman teaches in Likutey Moharan, that if one is present at the time when the soul of his teacher leaves his body, he receives the ability to give over his master's teachings.

Click here to hear the original broadcast.

who is reb gedaliah aharon kenig?

In the nearly thirty years since his passing in 1980, the very essence of the Holy City of Tsfat was resuscitated from near death and extinction, G-d forbid. Looking at Tsfat today, you wouldn't know of the desolation that permeated the soul of the city three decades ago, particularly in the Old City where the community of the Arizal lived 500 years ago. Reb Gedaliah knew that Tsfat had to be restored as a center of living Torah, which would begin the messianic repair of the world.

But there is another essential element to Reb Gedaliah's vision: The singular importance of Rebbe Nachman of Breslev. Reb Gedaliah sought to establish Tsfat as the fundamental channel for the light and global tikkunim of Rebbe Nachman. He would say: "Rebbe Nachman is saving the world!"

Only in this context, can we begin to understand what drove Reb Gedaliah to give over his very soul for the rebuilding of Tsfat. He was 59 years old when he passed away on a trip to England to garner support for the Tsfat project, which was then on the brink of collapse before it had even begun.

He hid his profound spiritual level, even from his own family. Aside from his personal attainments of holiness and purity, he was a genius in the revealed and hidden Torah, studying in Jerusalem with masters such as Rabbi Mordechai Sharabi, zt"l, one of the greatest Kabbalists of the previous generation. Above all, his soul was completely bound to his teacher, mentor and master, Rav Avraham Sternhartz, zt"l, the undisputed leader of the previous generation of Breslever Chassidim.

The significance of this relationship is that it represents an unbroken chain of transmission back to Rebbe Nachman himself. The relationship itself is a channel for Rebbe Nachman's awesome power of tikkun and universal spiritual influence. Reb Gedaliah embodied this conduit and emphasized in no uncertain terms its critical importance for the world. The heart of his message was now that there was a light like Rebbe Nachman in the world, there is no other path that can bring one closer to God or tikkun to his soul.